Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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