as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
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Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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