Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
