vagina is talking i cant
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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