So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i drank out of a bidet.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
