The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
