I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize