Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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