oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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