and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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