listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize