I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
