I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
