I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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