your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize