I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
