The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
