Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
