He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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