Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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