For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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