Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
