I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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