loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
