I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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