I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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