I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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