I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize