My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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