I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
