problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
