Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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