He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
