i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
