Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
