After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
