do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
