My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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