highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
