i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
