I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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