This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
zippers are such a cool invention
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
