someone owes me an orgasm
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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