Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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