we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
