yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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