that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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