you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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