But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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