nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
