I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
