Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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