I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
