just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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