i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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