I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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