hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i used baking grease as lip gloss
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
