Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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