I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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